best sex therapy books

10 Best Sex Therapy Books

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Last Updated on January 12, 2021 by Aileen Valdivia

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Last Updated on January 12, 2021 by Aileen Valdivia

Though sex is a natural and enjoyable part of life, many people struggle with finding joy in it. If you’re unhappy with your sex life, you may find it beneficial to read one of the many sex therapy books on the market.

We’ve compiled a list of the best books available at the time of writing. Keep reading to find the bedroom companion you’ll need to up-level your sex life.


10 Best Sex Therapy Books in 2021


1. Come as You Are

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First up in our list of best sex therapy books is this life-changing best-seller from Emily Nagoski. This book is aimed at helping you understand how women’s sexuality works and claims to give you the tools you need to transform your sex life.

Every Woman is Different

One of the first things you’ll learn as you dive into this book is that every woman is different. This applies to not only how women think, but to their anatomy as well. Once you’re able to understand that every woman’s unique sexuality can’t be approached in the same way, your sex life will thank you.

Life is Complicated

The second lesson you’ll learn through reading this book is that life happens and these occurrences have an influence on women’s sexual desire, orgasms, and even their arousal.

Cost and Value

Can you really put a price on education? Well, yeah, you can, but you shouldn’t look at only the price when considering a book like this. If you’re on a budget, though, know that this is one of the more affordable picks in our guide.

Pros

  • Supportive towards women
  • Great for reading together as a couple
  • Science and psychology-based
  • Easy to understand

Cons

  • May contain phrases not every reader is comfortable with

2. She Comes First

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Sex is complicated and it doesn’t come with a how-to guide. But this book from Ian Kerner is about the best you can get to an informative and instructional manual to pleasing a woman.

For Any (and Every) Man

You wouldn’t say no to learning more about the inner workings of your beloved sports car, would you? Then why say no to educating yourself on how to satisfy your woman? This book is a must-read for any and every man who wants to be better in bed.

True & True Techniques

This book is more than just an informative guide to a woman’s anatomy. There are many tried and true techniques you can put into action – tonight – to uplevel your sexual prowess.

Cost and Value

This is another affordable book that’s more than worth its weight in gold. You’ll receive a lot of value for a relatively small investment and your partner will be thanking you in her own special way after you’ve read it. Worth. Every. Penny!

Pros

  • Great for women to read, too
  • Confidence builder
  • Easy to follow techniques and tips
  • Easy to understand

Cons

  • May contain too much “fluff” for some readers

3. Mating in Captivity

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This book from Esther Perel is perfect for any couple looking to reignite the spark that’s been lost between them in the bedroom. Perel is a Belgian psychotherapist with over 20 years of clinical experience under her belt, so you know you can trust her guidance.

Drawing from Experience

The best part about reading a book from a psychotherapist is that the author can draw from real-life cases to illustrate her points. It’s also great to know that you’re not alone in your search for passion in your relationship.

Non-Judgmental

If you’ve ever wanted to read a sex therapy book that’s written from a non-judgmental point-of-view, this is it. Perel is a sex-positive and kink-friendly therapist so you won’t ever feel shamed for your tastes.

Cost and Value

The next best thing about this book is that it’s the most affordable option in our list!

Pros

  • Enlightening and insightful
  • Fresh thoughts and ideas
  • Great for couples to read together
  • Educational

Cons

  • Mostly focuses on the authors POV and not research-backed

4. Urban Tantra, Second Edition

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This book is perfect for the busy modern-day person. It proves that no matter how busy you are, you can still find a balance of sexual and spiritual bliss through Tantra.

Helpful

If you’ve suffered from sexual abuse or raised in an overly religious home, sex may be the last thing on your mind. This book will help you make new connections with sex and change your ideology.

How-To Guide

This book isn’t only focused on spiritual wisdom, it acts as a how-to guide, as well. It’s chock full of over 100 simple-to-follow techniques you can start implementing today.

Cost and Value

This book is priced competitively with the others in our guide. We loved the modern take on tantra and think this is a great addition to anyone’s sexual repertoire.

Pros

  • Easy to understand
  • Well organized
  • Queer and kink friendly
  • Practical advice and exercises

Cons

  • Less focus on the spiritual side (which may be a “pro” for some readers)

5. Guide To Getting It On

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If a book on sex therapy has been revised and added to so much that it necessitates not one, not two, but nine editions, you know the author is doing something right! Paul Joannides delves even deeper with this ninth edition of his best-selling book.

Celebrity Praises

Don’t just take our word for it. Celebrities like Oprah and big-name magazines such as Playboy and Rolling Stone have been singing this book’s praises for years!

Accessible for Everybody

Not only is the information in this book incredibly useful for anyone looking to get more from their sex life, but the illustrations and extensive sex terminology glossary are great additions for people who might be a little on the vanilla side.

Cost and Value

This is one of the pricier books in our guide, but it’s still quite affordable when you consider the value you’ll receive in return for your investment.

Pros

  • Acts as a sex manual
  • Great for people new to sex
  • Fun illustrations
  • Fun to read

Cons

  • Tone of voice won’t suit every reader

6. Women’s Anatomy of Arousal

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Sheri Winston brings us this well-written guide to the secrets of women’s arousal. It’s written for men and women alike and full of useful information everyone should know.

For Both Partners

This book isn’t just for women to teach them how to please themselves. It’s chock full of helpful information for their male partners, too. There’s even one chapter solely for men.

Empowering

Winston points out that women have infinite possibilities when it comes to sexuality, but that it remains mostly untapped. This book will help you become exploring those possibilities and transform your life.

Cost and Value

This is the priciest book in our guide, but one we found to be more than worth the price tag, especially if you’re a woman who remains mostly unsatisfied in bed.

Pros

  • Accurate diagrams
  • Teaches women about their own sexuality
  • Sex-positive
  • An informative read for both genders

Cons

  • Some practices may be too “new agey” for some women

7. Love Worth Making

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Things in the bedroom can get stale in long-term relationships. This book from MD Stephen Snyder is geared towards keeping things spicy and exciting, no matter how long you and your partner have been together.

Written by a Doctor

Stephen Snyder is a sex and relationship therapist with over thirty years of experience under his belt. If there’s anyone who can help you reignite the burnt-out spark in your relationship, it’s Snyder.

Sexual Emotions

Sexual satisfaction is about more than just diddling the g-spot, blow jobs, and orgasms, especially when you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship. This book focuses on sexual emotions that you need to master to keep both partners happy.

Cost and Value

This book is priced similarly to most of the others in our guide. We loved that it’s written from a doctor’s POV since he’s able to provide so much valuable insight to the readers.

Pros

  • Refreshing look into sexuality
  • Focuses on feelings and attitudes
  • Perfect for long-term couples
  • Engaging read

Cons

  • Not a “how-to” guide

8. The Enlightened Sex Manual

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David Deida brings us this groundbreaking book about how to become a more adventurous lover. It’s full of ideas and tips on developing new sexual abilities.

For Every Body

It doesn’t matter where you fall on the gender spectrum or if you’re single, polyamorous, or in a long-term relationship, you can glean helpful information from this book.

Skill Building

This book focuses on helping the reader reap the rewards for a deeper physical, emotional, and spiritual connection with sex. It helps readers to build their skills to reach and achieve a deeper, more intense sexual experience and orgasm.

Cost and Value

This book comes at a very affordable price that’s competitive with the others in our guide. We thought the new-age take on sexual experience was interesting and something many readers will resonate with.

Pros

  • Spiritually focused
  • Great for all genders
  • Inspiring
  • Great for couples to read together

Cons

  • May be too new age for some

9. Sexual Intelligence

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Marty Klein, Ph.D. brings us this interesting and refreshing look at how we view sex. He pulls from his 30 years of experience in the realm of marriage and family counseling to provide a look into the mindsets we have around sex and how to lead a more exciting and fulfilled sex life.

Not Gimmicky

There are a lot of gimmicky sex guides and manuals out there, but this is not one of them. Klein brings the reader easy-to-understand guidelines for changing how they look at sex to take their sexual experience to the next level.

Great for All Readers

It doesn’t matter what your age, gender, or relationship status is, there is information in this book that you’ll be able to implement in your life right away.

Cost and Value

This is one of the most affordable picks in our buying guide which makes it an absolute no-brainer for you to purchase.

Pros

  • Helpful for overcoming hangups
  • Marriage saver
  • Easy to digest
  • Great for people with negative views of sex

Cons

  • Writing style may not suit every reader

10. Pleasure

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The final book in our guide from author Hilda Hutcherson is a refreshing look into pleasure from one of the world’s top experts in the world of sex.

For Women by Women

While many of the books on this list are written with both genders in mind, this one is specifically for women. It teaches readers all about their body’s pleasure zones and how to communicate better with their partner to help uplevel their sexual experience.

Focuses on the Lifetime

It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting to delve into your sexuality, if you’ve just had your first (or fifth) baby, or if you’re beginning menopause, this book is for you. It’s focused on a lifetime of pleasure, no matter where you are in your life’s journey.

Cost and Value

This book is priced similarly to the others in our guide. We loved that it’s written with women specifically in mind as there isn’t a lot of information out there catering to women.

Pros

  • Great for singles or people in relationships
  • Clear and concise writing
  • Illustrated
  • Compassionately written

Con

  • May not be groundbreaking for some women

Our Conclusion

Sex is a part of life and if you find yourself struggling to find pleasure in it, any of the sex therapy books in our guide will be able to help.

Happy reading!

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